Grey Shades

The Serial Killer

For me, the line between right and wrong blurred a long time ago. I used to have sleepless nights. Not anymore... I thought I'd feel guilt. But I didn't. My life was a set of unanswered questions. My experience of life felt like a disease, until . . . . .
Until, I found my cure.

In the beginning I thought it was just an obsession. I was wrong. Today it feels more like my life support system. It has become my food and water. I have to do it, for survival. Its the only way in which I can lead a normal life.

Sometimes a kill leads to more. Plenty of kills have been just collateral damage. But I had to do it. I didn't have a choice. The rush I get every time is irreplaceable.

My hand shivers. Everytime. I don't like it when that happens. It makes me feel mortal. I don't like feeling like a mortal. I am more than just a mortal. I was sent here to do God's work. And that's exactly what I am going to do today. God's Work.

Yes, I know it sounds funny, but I am serious. I believe in God.


The Victim

"Help", I scream,
every single time.
I know help wont arrive,
every single time.
I am isolated,
every single time.
I am helpless,
every single time.

But I still cry out. Though in vain, it may be.
Out of desperation. Out of hope.
I shout. I scream. I cry.
But, as usual help never arrives.

Then I realize why. He is too good for that. He plans his every move meticulously. He calculates every angle. Every possibility.

I try to fight back. But it only seems to increase his determination. I scream, "Why me". I just hear his mild laughter in response. He enjoys my struggle. Part of his satisfaction comes from that. I am his drug. For him, Its an addiction. An addiction for which there is no rehab.

every single time.
"if only I had seen him coming", I think,
every single time.


The Investigator

I always dread that call. But they always call me first. Its my job to be called first.
I have seen more evil than any of you can possibly imagine. But still he gets to me. He always gets to me.

I try to find the smallest clue. The slightest indication of any slip up that might lead me to him. But I never succeed. He always makes me feel that, I am looking at the wrong place. Probably laughing at me. At my stupidity. It took me a long time to take it in. But the fact was, he was better than me. And he knew it.

Part of my job is to look tough and unflustered whenever I witness his handiwork. And I do it well. On the outside. Inside I feel week and feeble. He gives me sleepless nights. Makes me nervous every time the phone rings.

But, that does not deter me. Because I know one thing. Everything has a breaking point. He will make a mistake. Every one of them does. And when he does, I will notice. And I will find him.

And, When I find him, I guarantee that I will not arrest him. I'll just sort the paperwork.


The Avenger

The average guy next door. Thats what I was. Two years ago. Leading a contented life on the outskirts of the big city. I wouldn't say that it was perfect. But it was damn close.

But then, one day, It all changed. He turned my life around.

It hit me hard. He had hit me hard. But I didn't run. I wasn't raised to run from a fight. I wasn't raised to run from anything. "Never back down. Never give up.", my dad used to say. And I never gave up. No matter what.

The day he set hands on my wife, he had signed his death warrant. I just knew it that day.

Two years. It seems like a long time. Two years, I did not rest. My mind, body and soul unified in his search. Time passed and I realized that he was extremely good at what he did. Unfortunately for him, he was not good enough. Because, now I know, where he was, where he is and where he will be. And today everything will end. Today will be his end. And, he will not see it coming.

There was a time when I was afraid to get blood on my hands. But not anymore.

You see, for me, the line between right and wrong blurred a long time ago.